Who’s on first

This weekend I couldn’t stand it any more. I talk to 3-year-old Jack on the phone, but I can almost hear him growing as we speak. I have tried for weeks to get away and see him. So Friday, I just left. I drove to Dallas to see this little miracle that I call a grandson. He makes me nuts. God gave me girls for a reason – He knew I didn’t have the stamina or patience to deal with little boys. Of course in His wisdom, he was right. Hell, I don’t even really like kids. My own daughters have said:

“Mom, we can’t have kids, you hate kids.”

But the truth is I hate other people’s kids. The ones who have no manners and pee on your sofa because their parents send them over and then disappear for hours or days knowing you won’t leave a child alone.

I told Jack that Great-grandpa was in Utah.

“Me-tah?” he asked.

"No, Utah,” I said. “It’s a state like Texas, only far away to the west.”

"You-tah or Me-tah?” he said

“No, Jack, it’s another state far away. He has gone to Utah.”

“Me-tah?”

“No, Utah.”

"Oh,” he said. “Me-tah.”